Issues to ponder - chasing money or enrichment?

We all need to de-clutter and focus on the things that matter. We are all chasing wealth and economic growth. But at what cost? The world's economy has to be 15 times its current size before all the poor nations can be as rich as the OECD nations. It will require a change in mindset. What is the point in chasing faster microchips when a vast number of people don't have access to water supply?

Shouldn't business objectives be directed towards more sustainable growth. Sustainable in the sense where people continue to have jobs and growth in other parameters counts as well? Personal development, better relations with family, friends, participation in the community, etc.

If we stop and think about where we are in our lives today, maybe we have achieved quite a few of our goals. Its a case of recognizing it and redirecting our energies to something more meaningful than the simple pursuit of money! India is also going down the route of disaster by trying to ape the West. Of course we need economic growth, but it should also be tempered by our values and traditions - we have ancient history to back it up too - simplicity in life! While the world looks at Hinduism and Buddhist teachings to help them make sense of their ordinary lives, young Indian professionals are turning their backs on these teachings and chasing the glitz and glamour of the West. If this current recession is not a wake up call then what is?

These days I am struggling to come up with answers. Talking philosophy and metaphysics is fine (which I have done above) but what are the small or big steps/actions that we should be taking to actually improve ourselves and actually make a difference in the way we work, interact with friends and family and most importantly, with the community?

All feedback and discussion welcome...

Goal setting and how to balance it with your life?

Every personal goal you set can be evaluated in terms of the following 4 parameters:

1. Money = how much money you think will be sufficient to lead your life comfortably?

2. Ego Food = self esteem achieved through the work you do and the success you achieve

3. Love = family, wife, kids. Don't ignore this important aspect of your life. This is what is meant by attaining a work life balance.

4. Health = whatever you set out to achieve should not take a toll on your health. Take steps to keep yourself in good shape and good health.

In order to achieve your goals, you also need to consider the following:

1. Desire - do you have the desire to achieve the goal?

2. Ability - do you the ability i.e. skills, qualification, strength, etc?

3. Human Relations - do you have the emotional capacity to handle the emotions of family, friends, colleagues as you move along the path to achieve these goals?

What Constitutes a Good Life? by Jim Rohn

Another classic from the master. Read on and hope it helps make the difference in your life...

The ultimate expression of life is not a paycheck. The ultimate expression of life is not a Mercedes. The ultimate expression of life is not a million dollars or a bank account or a home. Here's the ultimate expression of life in my opinion, and that is living the good life. Here's what we must ask constantly, "What for me would be a good life?" And you have to keep going over and over the list. A list including areas such as spirituality, economics, health, relationships and recreation. What would constitute a good life? I've got a short list.

1) Number one, productivity. You won't be happy if you don't produce. The game of life is not rest. We must rest, but only long enough to gather strength to get back to productivity. What's the reason for the seasons and the seeds, the soil and the sunshine, the rain and the miracle of life? It's to see what you can do with it. To try your hand, other people have tried their hand; here's what they did. You try your hand to see what you can do. So part of life is productivity.

2) Next are good friends. Friendship is probably the greatest support system in the world. Don't deny yourself the time to develop this support system. Nothing can match it. It's extraordinary in its benefit. Friends are those wonderful people who know all about you and still like you. A few years ago I lost one of my dearest friends. He died at age 53 - heart attack. David is gone, but he was one of my very special friends. I used to say of David that if I was stuck in a foreign jail somewhere accused unduly and if they would allow me one phone call, I would call David. Why? He would come and get me. That's a friend. Somebody who would come and get you. Now we've all got casual friends. And if you called them they would say, "Hey, if you get back, call me we'll have a party." So you've got to have both, real friends and casual friends.

3) Next on the list of a good life is your culture. Your language, your music, the ceremonies, the traditions, the dress. All of that is so vitally important that you must keep it alive. In fact it is the uniqueness of all of us that when blended together brings vitality, energy, power, influence, uniqueness and rightness to the world.

4) Next is your spirituality. It helps to form the foundation of the family that builds the nation. And make sure you study, practice and teach. Don't be careless about the spiritual part of your nature, it's what makes us who we are, different from animal, dogs, cats, birds and mice. Spirituality.

5) Next - here's what my parents taught me. Don't miss anything. Don't miss the game. Don't miss the performance, don't miss the movie, don't miss the show, don't miss the dance. Go to everything you possibly can. Buy a ticket to everything you possibly can. Go see everything and experience all you possibly can. This has served me so well to this day. Just before my father died at age 93 if you were to call him at 10:30 or 11:00 at night, he wouldn't be home. He was at the rodeo, he was watching the kids play softball, he was listening to the concert, he was at church, he was somewhere every night.

Live a vital life. Here's one of the reasons why. If you live well, you will earn well. If you live well it will show in your face, it will show in the texture of your voice. There will be something unique and magical about you if you live well. It will infuse not only your personal life but also your business life. And it will give you a vitality nothing else can give.

6) Next are your family and the inner circle. Invest in them and they'll invest in you. Inspire them and they'll inspire you. With your inner circle take care of the details. When my father was still alive, I used to call him when I traveled. He'd have breakfast most every morning with the farmers. Little place called The Decoy Inn out in the country where we lived in Southwest Idaho. So Papa would go there and have breakfast and I'd call him just to give him a special day. Now if I was in Israel, I'd have to get up in the middle of the night, but it only took five minutes, ten minutes. So I'd call Papa and they'd bring him the phone. I'd say, "Papa I'm in Israel." He'd say, "Israel! Son, how are things in Israel?" He'd talk real loud so everybody could hear - my son's calling me from Israel. I'd say, "Papa last night they gave me a reception on the rooftop underneath the stars overlooking the Mediterranean." He'd say, "Son, a reception on the rooftop underneath the stars overlooking the Mediterranean." Now everybody knows the story. It only took 5 - 10 minutes, but what a special day for my father, age 93.

If a father walks out of the house and he can still feel his daughter's kiss on his face all day, he's a powerful man. If a husband walks out of the house and he can still feel the imprint of his wife's arms around his body he's invincible all day. It's the special stuff with the inner circle that makes you strong and powerful and influential. So don't miss that opportunity. Here's the greatest value. The prophet said, "There are many virtues and values, but here's the greatest, one person caring for another." There is no greater value than love. Better to live in a tent on the beach with someone you love than to live in a mansion by yourself. One person caring for another, that's one of life's greatest expressions.

So make sure in your busy day to remember the true purpose and the reasons you do what you do. May you truly live the kind of life that will bring the fruit and rewards that you desire.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

The 11 Rules to Change the World - by Robin Sharma

1. You be the change you dream of seeing (Thanks Mahatma Gandhi). "If everyone of us would sweep their own doorstep, the whole world would be clean," observed Mother Teresa. She was right.

2. Make time every day to reconnect to your highest ideals and boldest dreams. Without hope, people perish.

3. Leave every person you meet better than you found them. Life's too short to withhold encouragement and kindness.

4. As I wrote in 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari", see every setback as a stepping stone and every problem as a blessing in disguise. Contrary to what critics might say, these are NOT corny aphorisms. They are timeless truths of humanity. (And critics are just people too scared to grow their dreams anyway - pay no attention to them. The world needs more people lifting people up rather than putting people down).

5. Go the extra mile in everything you do - you don't need a title to be a leader. And on your deathbed, you'll never regret expressing the best within you

6. Do what's right rather than what's easy. Being a great person isn't a popularity contest. Many of the greatest leaders were disliked because they refused to bend to the winds of public opinion. That's called Strength of Character

7. Care for your health. You elevate the world by elevating yourself and your health really matters. Why be the richest person in the graveyard?

8. Tell your kids they are geniuses - and how much you adore them. Each of us are born geniuses but lose that gift within the first 6 years of our lives as we adopt the fears and limiting beliefs of those around us. Your kids are the leaders of the future. Grow their potential. Now.

9. Learn something new every day. As you grow, you begin to see possibilities you didn't have the eyes to see before. Read from an inspiring book, listen to an audio program, visit a good blog, go to a powerful workshop or have a conversation with an elder. One idea is all it takes to transform your life.

10. Keep your life simple. Please. The secret to success and happiness is building your life around a few important things. The person who tries to do everything accomplishes nothing. As I recently mentioned on my blog, "What's the point in being busy doing the wrong things?"

11. Remember that life is a mirror and we receive what we give out. To get more joy, give more joy. To have more respect, give more respect. To realize your dreams, help others realize theirs.

The Great Challenge of Life - By Jim Rohn

Here's the great challenge of life - You can have more than you've got because you can become more than you are.

I have found that income seldom will exceed your own personal development. Once in a while income takes a lucky jump, but unless you grow out to where it is, it will go back to where you are. Somebody once said if you took all the money in the world and divided it among everyone equally; it would soon be back in the same pockets. However, you can have more because you can become more. You see, here is how the other side of the coin reads - unless you change how you are, you will always have what you've got. The marketing plan won't do it. It's a good plan but it won't work without you. You've got to work it. It is the human effort that counts. If you could send a sales manual out to recruit - wouldn't that be lovely? The major thing that makes the difference is what YOU do.

In order to have more, you need to become more. The guy says "If I had a good job I would really pour it on, but I have this lousy job so I just goof off." If that is your philosophy, you are destined to stay there. Some people say if I had a lot of money I would be really generous, but I don't have much so I'm not generous. See, you've got to change that philosophy or you will never have "the lots of money." Unless YOU change, IT won't change. Amazingly, however, when we throw out our blame list and start becoming more ourselves - the difference is everything else will begin to change around us.

- Jim Rohn

Take Yourself to the Top! by Chris Widener

Everybody wants to get to the top, whether it is the top of a career, a company, the earnings scale, or the many other ways that we as individuals can define the “top’ in our own lives! But with so many people trying to get to the top, how come so many people aren't moving up? I think there are some fundamental reasons why. Reasons that can be addressed and changed!

What are some things you can do to get to the top? Here are some thoughts for you this week!

First of all, define what the “top’ means for you. This is extremely important because if you don't know where you are going, you will never get there! Some people don't want to be the CEO of the company. In fact, many think they are better off than the CEO even though they don't make as much money. Instead, they think they are at the top because of less stress, weekends with their families, etc., and I see their point. It doesn't matter what others think is the top, only what you do, since you are only gauging whether or not YOU get there! So where is it for you? That is the first question for you to answer.

Be passionate about your goal. Passion is the energy that drives us, or, as Alexander Pope said, passions are the “gales of life.’ Passion is the wind in the sales of work. Find something you love and you will find something you can get to the top of. If you don't love it, you may still make it to the top, though highly unlikely. And even if you do, there will be no joy. Let your passion carry you, because it will carry you far! Thomas Fuller put it this way: A man with passion rides a horse that runs away with him.

The will to continue in the face of hardship. Another reason most will not get to the top is because they simply refuse to scale the mountains of hardship that separate them from the top. If you want to get to the beautiful view from the top, you will have to climb over any obstacles. Instead, many choose to stay at base camp! One would think that Bjorn Borg, one of the greatest tennis players to ever live, would consider his skill his greatest asset. Instead, this is what he says, "My greatest point is my persistence. I never give up in a match. However down I am, I fight until the last ball. My list of matches shows that I have turned a great many so-called irretrievable defeats into victories." Continue until you get to the top!

Love people and treat them right. What? Love people? That's right! Why? Because if you are going to get to the top you are going to need other people. Be a jerk and you will find people dragging their feet on you. Treat them right and you will find them helping you and even cheering you on!

Master the appropriate skills. Average skills will get you to the middle. Top skills will get you to the TOP! This is most assuredly true when combined with the points above. Are you achieving excellence in the skills you need? Are you growing day by day, month by month, year by year? You can always get better and getting better will take you closer to the top! Even if you only improve a little, you can keep improving that small amount and it will eventually become a big amount! Demand the best from yourself and you will get to the top. Remember the words of Jose Ortega y Gasset: "We distinguish the excellent man from the common man by saying that the former is the one who makes great demands on himself, and the latter who makes no demands on himself."

Define the Top
Be Passionate
Persevere
Love others
Skill Mastery!

These will take you to the top!

-- Chris Widener

Let it really sink in - then choose

This is a story I received in an email. Its very motivating....

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... You can choose to be in a bad mood
I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about l ife instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?' I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'
'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked

He continued, '..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'GRAVITY'!'

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.' He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything .

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Overcoming your fears

First I had a bad feeling or unwillingness to go and meet these traders in a country where intellectual property is not respected. I felt concerned for my own safety because my visit entailed threatening these traders with legal action for selling copy product. Also, the fact that a European would accompany me to one of these less than reputable market areas to conduct discussions made me more nervous.

Visualization helped me here. I saw my colleague and I going there and being beaten up with our car stoned before we made a hurried escape. But banishing the negative thought from my mind, I pondered deeply. What if I were to face my fears – after all courage is not the absence of fear. It is the act of walking through your fears and doing what you are supposed to do. Call it trial by fire. Now I felt a bit more relaxed.

It struck me that it would be better to convey a toned down message rather than an aggressive one. At least the experience of talking to them would be an informative process – collect market intelligence, tell them about our patents and actions we take in the market. We were meeting them not to threaten them but to make them aware that our patents do exist and we have initiated action against one of the major brands in the market. I feel more confident about handling the situation and look forward to the visit.

My Problem or Yours?

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

;

;

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Lesson:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us..!

Keeping the Spark Alive - By Chetan Bhagat

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune - 23rd June, 2008

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You.

Planning for Change

1. State your future aims and objectives
2. Understand what is the current situation
3. Evaluate the alternatives available to making the change or reaching the goal
4. Put the actions into place